There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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