Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
