4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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