I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
