Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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