that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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