How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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