I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
