so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
