yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
