I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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