I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
