i just wanna soil my oats bro
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
