this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
only if we run a train.
done.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
