Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize