He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
