Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Randomize
