so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
