sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
