the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
