I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
