i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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