Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
