gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
