was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
