Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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