so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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