i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You ruined the universe
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize