Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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