ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
