she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
