I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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