return my video game
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
