I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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