She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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