return my video game
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
bring money and cleavage
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
