her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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