I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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