I am spending my child support on dildos
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
