i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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