if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
