oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
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