I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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