he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
