Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
