I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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