oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
