I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
we're making bets on your personal life
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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