We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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