Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
