I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
