I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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