It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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