We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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