dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
