I have demons in me.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
