dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
