She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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