how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
