keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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